If you are reading this in the first hours, start with the section just below and go no further. Nothing else on this page needs you today. The tasks will wait, and this guide will still be here when you come back to it.
Almost nothing has to happen right away. Very few decisions are truly urgent after a death, and the ones that matter are laid out here in order: what belongs to today, what belongs to this week, and what can safely wait. Take what you need and leave the rest.
If the death just happened
What you do in the first hours depends on where the death happened. In every case the goal is the same, and it is small: the death needs to be officially pronounced, and your loved one needs to be brought into care. Other people handle most of this.
In a hospital, nursing home, or hospice facility: the staff take care of the pronouncement and will ask which funeral home to call. It is completely fine to say you don’t know yet. They can keep your loved one in their care while you decide, and they help families through this every day.
At home, under hospice care: call the hospice nurse line, not 911. A nurse will come, make the pronouncement, and help arrange transport. Hospice teams are practiced and kind at exactly this moment.
At home, unexpectedly: call 911. Paramedics or police will come, and depending on your state a medical examiner or coroner may be involved. That is routine whenever a death wasn’t expected. It is not an accusation of anything, and they will tell you what happens next.
That is the whole list for today. If people are with you, let them make the calls. If you are alone, call someone who will come.
Who should be told first?
Tell the people who would want to hear it from a person, not a post: the closest family and the dearest friends. You do not have to make every call yourself. Ask each person you reach to tell one or two others. It is a job people are grateful to be given.
If anyone, or any pet, depended on your loved one for daily care, arrange cover for the next few days now. If they were still working, the employer should hear within the first few days; ask for the HR department, which will also know about final pay, benefits, and any life insurance through work.
Their doctor, landlord, and regular caregivers can wait a day or two. Social media can wait as long as you want.
What has to happen in the first few days?
Three things genuinely belong to the first days: the arrangements, the paperwork that starts with them, and the quiet securing of what your loved one left behind.
Before you choose burial or cremation, look for anything they wrote down. A prepaid funeral plan, a letter of wishes, or instructions kept with their important papers or their will. Prepaid plans are easy to pay for twice by accident. If nothing is written down, the decision usually belongs to the next of kin, and the funeral home will walk you through every choice. Bring someone with you to the arrangement meeting; four ears hear more than two, and prices are easier to question with company.
The funeral home becomes your first helper. They arrange transport, file the death certificate with the state, usually notify Social Security for you, and will ask how many certified copies of the death certificate you want. Say more than you think.
Quietly secure what they left behind. Make sure the home is locked and someone is collecting the mail. If the home will sit empty, move anything irreplaceable or obviously valuable somewhere safe, empty the refrigerator, and set the thermostat sensibly. If the services will be announced publicly, have someone stay at the home during them. It is sad that this needs saying, but burglars read obituaries.
How many death certificates do I need?
Order 8 to 12 certified copies to start. Most families end up needing roughly one for each place money or property lives: every bank, every insurer, every retirement account, the DMV for each vehicle, the county for real estate, and a few spares, because some institutions keep the copy you send.
The funeral home orders them from the state or county for a fee per copy, usually somewhere between 10 and 30 dollars depending on where you live. Ordering extras now is far easier than reordering later, which can take weeks. Some institutions will accept a certified copy, record it, and hand it back; you cannot count on that, so err on the side of more.
What can wait a few weeks?
More than you would guess. None of these are first-week jobs:
Probate and the courts. In most states the only early duty is delivering the will to the probate court, and the window for that is measured in weeks or months, not days. Looking up your state's timeline is a second-week task.
Notifying banks, card companies, and insurers. The accounts are not going anywhere. It is reasonable to make these calls in week two or three, once you have death certificates in hand. Just don't use the accounts in the meantime.
Life insurance claims. Policies don't lapse because you took a month to grieve, and you will need a death certificate to file anyway.
The house, the car, and the belongings. Nothing needs to be sold, cleared out, or divided in the first weeks. Be gently firm with anyone who suggests otherwise.
Subscriptions, memberships, and utilities. Keep the utilities on in any home that is occupied or still holds belongings. Cancel the rest whenever you get to it.
What should I be careful not to do?
A few well-meaning moves in the first days cause real trouble later. These are the ones executors most often wish someone had told them about:
Don't pay the estate's bills from your own pocket. Most bills can wait for the estate to pay them, and some debts end with the person. Keep receipts for anything you truly must cover, like funeral costs, so the estate can pay you back.
Don't use their bank cards or accounts. Even for their own expenses, and even if you know the PIN. After a death the accounts belong to the estate, and spending from them without authority can create real problems for you later. In many states a bank can pay funeral costs directly from the account; ask before you improvise.
Don't give away belongings yet. Not even keepsakes, and not even when someone asks kindly. If there is a will, it decides who receives what. Handing things out early is the most common source of lasting family conflict.
Don't let the home's insurance lapse. And tell the insurer if the home will sit empty. Many homeowner policies limit coverage for vacant homes, and one phone call keeps the protection in place.
Don't drive their car before checking the insurance. Coverage often follows the named driver, not the vehicle. A quick call to the insurer settles it.
Don't put identifying details in the obituary. Leave out the birth date, the home address, and the mother's maiden name. Identity thieves read obituaries. Loving and vague is the safe combination.
Don't sign anything you don't understand. And don't let anyone rush you, including family. “I need a little time” is a complete answer.
The first week, in one list
Everything above, gathered into one place. On paper the boxes are empty and yours: and put it on the refrigerator.The boxes are empty and yours.
- Have the death officially pronounced. The hospital, hospice, or 911 responders handle this.
- Tell the people closest to them, and ask each person to tell someone else.
- Arrange care for anyone, and any pet, who depended on them.
- Look for written wishes or a prepaid funeral plan before making arrangements.
- Choose a funeral home and plan the services, with someone beside you.
- Order 8 to 12 certified death certificates through the funeral home.
- Secure the home, the car, the mail, and anything valuable.
- Notify their employer, and ask about final pay and benefits.
- Confirm Social Security has been notified. The funeral home usually does this.
- Start one folder, paper or digital, and put every receipt and paper into it.
Anything on this list that doesn’t apply to you isn’t homework. Cross it off and feel no guilt.
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Who is supposed to handle all of this?
In the first week: whoever is closest and able. You do not need a court’s permission to arrange a funeral, secure a home, or order death certificates. The law calls this being the next of kin. Families call it stepping up.
The formal role comes later. If there is a will, it names an executor, who takes charge of the estate once the court confirms the appointment. If there is no will, state law sets out who may serve, usually starting with a spouse or adult child. Until then, act gently, keep receipts, and hold off on anything irreversible involving money or property.
And if you are reading this as the named executor: nothing about the funeral week requires your formal authority, and nothing you did this week was wrong for lacking it.
What comes after the first weeks?
The estate. Once the services are behind you, the work changes shape: finding out what your loved one owned and owed, whether probate is needed, and which institutions need to hear from you, in what order. It is slower, quieter work, measured in months, and no one is expected to already know how to do it.
That part is what Pastwell was built for. It begins with a short, plain conversation about what happened, then builds a roadmap for your state and your situation: every task the estate actually needs, in order, with the documents and direct links each one takes. Here is how it works, whenever that day comes. There is no hurry.
About this guide: it describes what typically happens in the United States. Details vary by state, and this is guidance, not legal advice. When a question touches your specific situation, a licensed attorney is the right person to ask, and asking is often worth it. Written and maintained by Pastwell. Updated July 2026. It lives in our free library, where more is on the way.